Written by Danilo Sanchez | RCI Village Housing Director
As we enter 2021 with the COVID-19 pandemic still going on, many health care workers and social service workers have met their limit. There is added stress for many of us serving the unsheltered community while there continues to be limited available resources. Many organizations have staff working from home and most of the interaction is virtual. For organizations that are open in person, they are quickly overwhelmed with people who are desperate, carrying the burden of their mental health, and starved for social interaction. At Ripple Community Inc, we have experienced this firsthand. Since the beginning of the pandemic, we’ve had influx of people coming to our center on a regular basis. Many of those people need food and water, a daytime space to rest, and emotional and mental care. It can be overwhelming to say the least.
I recall one particularly hard week at the Community Building Center. It started with a fight on Tuesday, after which we had to ask one of our community members to take a week-long break from coming to the center. Followed by Thursday when two community members used drugs on the property and the microwave quit working, which was less than thrilling news to the 20 hungry people who hadn’t eaten since the previous night.
By Friday, I was spent. That’s when Rob came in needing to talk. He had needed to talk several other days that week, too, but our conversations would end early because of all that was going on. It’s hard to have an extended conversation with people when you’re being pulled in all directions. He seemed particularly frantic that Friday morning. He cornered me and asked to speak in the office. I paused for a moment trying to think of an excuse, but nothing was coming to mind. I had avoided him enough times that week. We sat down in the office and Rob unloaded all his troubles from that week—his housing situation, his stolen bike, the memories from his younger years that still haunt him. After listening to Rob talk for 30 minutes non-stop, I had about all I could take. Another staff member walked into the office and I used that as opportunity to end the conversation. I exited the office, glad to get a break, but was immediately greeted by someone who had just come off the street and wanted to talk to the Housing Director because a friend stole their rent money and now they did not know what to do. I was moving from one crisis to another.
After ten intense months of absorbing and providing for all the needs of others it’s easy to develop compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue is the state of being emotionally and physically exhausted from carrying the trauma of others, leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for them. This condition is also referred to as secondary or vicarious trauma. After several years of working at RCI, I have come to learn that you can only handle so many painful stories until you start to become desensitized, and less able to help in a meaningful way.
The result of compassion fatigue is that we are often dismissive to the needs of others, make ourselves unavailable, or become rigid. I kept dismissing Rob that week because I didn’t have the emotional capacity to listen to his story. We all have finite wells, and mine was bone dry. I knew that he, like most of our friends at RCI, had been in similar situations before, and would be again months from now. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve care, and compassion, and friendship today.
If I do not pay attention to my emotional and mental wellbeing, compassion fatigue will win out. That not only hurts me, but also hurts others that I want to care about.
All our staff have experienced compassion fatigue this past year in some way. But we must find a way to replenish our souls. Staff is encouraged to do self-care which might look like physical activity, art, boundaries training, gardening, cuddling with your pet, meditating, group activities, or therapy. This helps to balance out the difficult stories that we hear. People like Rob will continue to show up at the Center. As staff we need to find the strength to be emotionally available so that we can give them the compassion they deserve. As Father Boyle would say, “Kindness is the only strength there is.” RCI is in this work for the long haul, so we find the strength and rhythms that will sustain us for the journey.
